... and it is titled: "Hmmm."

-- As usual, Naija is in the news again... for the bad reasons. "BBC traces scam computer to Nigeria". I don't know how true the report is, but as a friend posted on Nairaland one thing is pretty clear: the Nigerian flag is current logo for internet scams - somebody say hi to Columbia (drug trafficking) and Italy (organized crime) :D  Hmmm.

 -- Ok, so the first trip to see our erstwhile out-of-station president was thwarted by the eminent 1st lady, Turai Y'all-a-Dull (a.k.a Lady Macbeth), a second contingent is now being assembled again. Meanwhile, the report of the first group is yet to be submitted to the House of Reps (it's worthlessness not withstanding) a WHOLE FRIGGING WEEK after they came back. Why, you may ask; because - wait for it! - because two members of the trip are YET to come back and append their signatures to the report  - one detoured off for a vacation in Dubai (on who's account???) while another stalked of to Spain for "an assignment". Hmmm.

 -- Peter Obi won Anambra State elections, abi? As Onitsha man talk, notin mega, posterity will judge. Cos if that election was really held, and voters were actually able to vote, then by Jehova umu-Israel there's no way Obi would've won - Dr. Chris Ngige was by-far the popular choice - damn, i'll stake my home and abroad accounts on it! And mind you i don't especially like Ngige that much.

Mehn, una need to see how sooooo unpopular that Obi guy currently is. So how did he do it?? Hmmm, you didn't hear this from me, but the thing was 3-quarters of peeps who turned for the election couldn't find their names on the voters' register. Instead they were seeing hausa names like Musa al-Kassad and Alhaji Maidogonyaro all over the register. In Anambra State!!! Since when nwa-ala igbo begin answer alhaji??! Now, i wasn't at the elections (couldn't leave my 8-5, thankya!), i actually heard these things from my mum, family and friends back in Anambra - and they can't all be lying. Hmmm, i don talk my own.

 -- And lastly, una hear of the electrocution accident wey kill people like chicken for Port Harcourt? The tori long, mak una go read am here. My people, na dia i dey follow go work EVERY MORNING OO!! Jehova onye ebere! First, the rain decides to fall in February - in freaking February!! - whaddahell issat? 2012 preamble? Global warming, abi na cooling? Hmmm. Then factor in the high-voltage cable, the big tree right next to it, and then the bus terminal beside them all. As usual, a panel has been instituted to look into the thing, and the state governor has given a speech decrying such carelessness by the PHCN - who, of course, have gone on a solidarity visit to the governor to "console" him on the unfortunate accident and assure him they're working hard to make sure it doesn't occur again. Meanwhile, the victims are languishing in pain in the hospital. Naija!!  Hmmm.

Na Who Born D Magga??

Walahi,this one was too mush! I just couldn't stomach it, i had to break my "blog-fast" to post this.

Abeg, how many of y'all read the Guardian Newspaper last sunday? Renown columnist and intrepid journalist, Reuben Abati, woke up in the morning and decided he needed to widen his scope of journalistic activity. Guess were he decided to re-test his writing skills? The Nigerian music industry (can you imagine it?!). Well, little did he know he was officially on a long ting. I mean, i respect Mr. Abati's blunt and smart analysis of our nation political/socio-economic terrain (i no go lie, d guy na one smart journalist), but mehnn, Oga Reuben really blew it this time. Wtf was he thinking writing that - excuse my french - bullshit?? Anyway shaa, i won't start repeating the 95% crap he wrote now (you can read it here if you want), but basically - summarily - inna nutshell, the magga just has an issue with naija hip-hop. Talk about a GENERATION gap.


Ok, so i thought i was the only dude pissed off, hahahahaa, little did i know what storm was brewing. First thing monday morning, Banky W (a.k.a Mr Capable) replied with a well-thought out rejoinder. God, it was su-weeeet! And the best thing was my man Banky just stayed respectful and diplomatic (no brother-hating and dissing and all that shit). Me love you, Bankii!

Not so with "Big-Boy" el Dee; nna-eh, the nwa-guy use Baba Abati wipe floor o! I read his response to Abati on naijarules.com, and LWKMD! Chineke, elDee vex no be small.

But the final funeral ceremony to Mr. Abati's piece, however, happened on (yep, you guessed right!) Nairaland.com (for the record, nairalanders are crazy; you just don't f**k with'em) My people for Blogsville, unu hu ihe NLers mere dis guy, they finish the man eh, nothing remain again! I laffed so hard, my stomach began to hurt. One poster put it very quaintly: E don be for Abati! Seriously, i started feeling sorry for the old fella; Abati isn't a kid in the world of journalism, why in God's name did he have to go and write such shit? Any idiot would've known crap like that was gonna hit naija youths on the crazy nerve.

Well, one last thing before i sign off: Shit like this is the reason lizards shouldn't try to fly. Damn it, nyagga, stick to whachu know best!