NEFT Transfer (I)

Just had to blog about this; it actually happened yesterday.

So there i was thinking whadahell, i'll bleeping smile and laugh all i want, my brokeass-ness and perennial troubles can go take a dive in the lagoon for all i care. Easier said than done, mind u, but i managed to pull it off sha. Naim i come say mak i call mumsie and confirm say the bulk of my salary (and i mean BULK!) wey i send mak she take settle issues don reach her hand.

It was a bad idea.

Ring-ring.
"Mumsie how far? U don withdraw am?"

"No-o, i am still waiting for the bank SMS alert. And your dad has..."

(**i interrupt**) "You haven't gotten it??!! But i sent it since tuesday!"

(**oblivious to the interruption**) "...has been calling all day, saying Stephen dem hav been asking..."

(i interrupt again) "But mummy have you checked? Are you in the bank?"

(**oblivious once again) "... asking and demanding for the thing. I don't just know, this NEFT transfer thing sef..."

(**now getting angry**) "Mummy have you checked?!"

(**thankfully it sank in**) "No, no... I'm guessing it will probably finally enter tomorrow, so i called Stephen's wife and Ubana dem, and told them to be a little more patient..."

(**royally pissed now but trying to keep voice down**) "But mummy now!! Why didn't you call me? Its past three now, and they've been waiting since tuesday... Ohh-hm!! Mtcheeww!!"

(getting upset too) "kay9, its this NEFT transfer thing, i wish you'd just sent cash..."

"Ok mummy, i'll call you back, let me call the bank."

I ring off and furiously scroll through my e63 nokia for my account officer's number... i was really fuming and muttering and foaming in the mouth now... On top say i'm basically broke cos i sent all my dough home, naim person come dey use my money play!! Chai, i swear, walahi, somebodi will catch fire today...!!!

Lol..

Ok, lets rewind a little. See, the gist is that you can now send and receive money online from any bank in Nigeria... in principle, at least. There's this ish called NEFT transfer that basically runs the joint; to use it u need to know the destination bank's name, branch, SORT code, and the receiver's new NUBAN account number (every account in Nigeria has that now). And by the way, i'm pretty sure "NEFT" and "SORT" and "NUBAN" all mean something sensible, even if i don't remember being told what they are.

Ok o, na so i go bank to withdraw cash jejely, only for the service personnel to start yiddy-yakking about NEFT. Yes, i'd heard of it, but i thought only GTBank currently uses it? No, she says, all smiles and dimples, all banks use it now. Just fill here, here, and here, and u'r good to go. Okay o. Na so i call mumsie and she send the details sharpish; there and then i filled out the NEFT form and had it posted. Goodbye, july salary. This was tuesday morning.

Fast forward to 3:05pm, thursday afternoon... (chuckling) well, u know the rest... there i was thinking whadahell, i'll bleeping smile and laugh all i want... Ring-ring!..."Ok mummy, i'll call you back, let me call the bank."...

Walahi, sombodi go catch fire today!!!

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That was all yesterday, i'll tell the rest tomorrow (it actually ended wonderfully).

@NuttyJ, kiah, Rep1, rethots, and Mancee, thanks a lot guys; i really appreciate your kind words - and i'm smiling now!

Love like the morning dew...

 '
This song is speaking to my heart... love is such a beautiful thing.

(**sobs n sniffles!)

Shola, yours is the best definition of that word!




Updated: Shola Allyson - Eji Owuro (English and French subtitled)

Half-A-Century Later...

"Nigeria is 50 years old."

It's 12:08pm, October 1st, Nigeria's Independence Day. I'm sitting at my laptop, typing out this blogpost and ignoring my t.v. In contrast to me is Enyimba; his eyes are glued to the darned silver screen, watching the independence anniversary celebrations. Oh yes, the one they spent 9.5 billion naira on... But i don't wanna talk about all that now - I don't wanna start comparing countries, or pointing fingers at bribe-fattened politicians, or ranting about corrupt trigger-happy policemen... No, all i want is to write something nice and optimistic about my country. But i keep getting this image of Mazi GEJ shaking his oblong head, smiling inwardly at the same time, and gingerly signing off N9.5bn that could've been better utilized somewhere else.

Oh, fuck it.

Enyimba's muttering something about the commentary being in french, "Nigeria's an anglophone country....!" I wish he'd stop; he's just increasing the room temperature and i don't have a frigging a.c.

So Naija is fifty. Great, now we've gone from "Fools at 40" to "Juvenile Delinquents at 50"; quaint and illogical, i know, but what better term suits us?

Enyimba is now peeping over my shoulder, and demanding to know whaddaheck his name is doing on my post; silly idiot, he doesn't know what honor i'm doing him, lol....


Happy Independence to Naija! We've already wasted half-a-century; let's hope and pray we don't totally blow the remaining half.

Donate For Jos, please

I actually set out to do a Thankful post (like GNG does every friday). I'd seen something on CNN that made me realize anew how lucky i am to have the things i do. Some Myanmar refugees left stranded at sea by Thai navy officials who'd initially arrested them. The dejection and despair on their faces was so heart-rending, i wished there was something i could do to help them. And then, with the thought of helping far away refugees came the thought of my fellow Nigerians being butchered alive by their own country-men in nearby Jos. What have i done to help them, i thought. Nothing. Absolute nada.

So feeling like the cool and tight kay9 who always does what he says he'll do, head puffing with pride, i went off to look for that site Suru and 2cute had hooked up. I went. I saw. And I was humbled. Then i read down to Suru's post titled "Some Resolution" and saw the link she said made her cry. I clicked...

Brothers and Sisters of blogsville, those barbarians committed a genocide in Jos. They KILLED men, women, children. HUNDREDS. Probably even thousands, i don't know. They KILLED them, BUTCHERED them, BURNT them, and left them to rot in the sun.

Why?? Why????

Why would any human-being do that to another? Because of religion?? Because of FUCKING RELIGION?????? Tomorrow Azazel will come and post something about how stupid all religions are, and someone will start telling him how myopic he is. Yet see what religion makes us do!

I don't what to say... what to do... Why? What do you do the person(s) who did this when you catch them? Kill them? Torture them? Forgive them like the Bible says? Please fellow bloggers, who knows the solution?

I'm just sitting here boiling with impotent anger. Impotent because it won't achieve anything; the dead are dead, anger isn't gonna take care of the living. So i'm going back to copy the account details for the Jos Fund on Suru's post. I'm near broke now, but as soon as my salary comes in i'll parcel-off something for those poor survivors. That's the least i can do. But for now i'm forwarding that page address to every email address i know.

I don't know what to call this post now - it definitely isn't a thankful post anymore; i just want to beg all blogsville to send something to Jos, please. Belle Naija's blog has details on how you can help.

God help us all.

UPDATE: 2cute4u has left a comment on this post; it appears the Red Cross donations account still has some issues. So please don't send any cash donations yet; just keep an eye on We Are Jos for when it is ready. Thanks!