Monday, 2 April 2012

Things I've Learnt

I have learnt...

I have learnt that to be a man, a REAL man, is definitely not a day's job.

I have learnt that a degree certificate (of whatever level) is just a piece of paper. Necessary, yes, but a frigging piece of paper nonetheless. Well, in Nigeria anyway.

I have learnt that beauty and brains aren't enough, and that money and connections may still not do it, either. Luck - good, old LUCK - and God's favor are what you really need.

I have learnt that there's absolutely nothing amusing about being broke.

I have learnt that disappointments will come - small ones, big ones, REALLY big ones - over and over again. You just have to get used to them.

I have learnt that a big smile and a bit of humility can save you hours, or even days, of procedural bottlenecks.

I have learnt that helping out a complete stranger is a blessing in itself.

I have learnt that sometimes, following my heart instead of my head, is really the wise thing to do. It may not bring me profit, or respect, or even love...but it gives me peace.

I have learnt that one of the saddest things that can happen to a man is having no money to send to his mother.

I have learnt that being angry with your lot in life is a huge waste of time.

I have learnt that having just one good friend during trying times makes it a lot easier.

I have learnt that sometimes its ok to be an idiot; nobody is created perfect, anyway.

I have learnt that true happiness lies somewhere between inner peace, the touch of a loved one, and a couple of bucks in your pocket.

I have learnt that life is useless if you don't have anyone to share it with.

And lastly, i've learnt that in the long run - in the long, long run - love truly conquers it all.

Monday, 16 January 2012

No Angels...

So. - So this is it? #97? And a couple of empty promises...? - - Shit. - - #whyamianigerian??

Friday, 6 January 2012

Here I Make My Stand!

Its time.
Time to STEP UP.
We've talked enough. We've pontificated enough. Its time for our VOICES TO BE HEARD.
OccupyNigeria says ''NO'' to Fuel Subsidy Removal! Revitalize the Refineries First! Revitalize the Power Sector First!Mr President lead by example; almost N1bn for ''household refreshments''?? C'mon!!

(Update: Sorry about the links; uploaded the pix with a friends system)


#occupyNigeria - Ilorin... The city that started it all. Hail, my yoruba brothers; una get mind!

#occupyNigeria - Benue

#occupyNigeria - Katsina

#occupyNigeria - Ibadan

Our 5-man stand in Port Harcourt - me, far left; Paul, far right; Cedric and Charles in the middle. Pic taken by Dami.

Just before SSS officials drove down, said the State Police Commissioner had been getting calls, and asked that we leave (Dami at far left). Monday'll be a better day.

His name is Muyideen Mustafa, he is 23, and he was shot protesting.

Dear fellow nigerian at home and in diaspora, where were you while your countrymen shed tears, sweat, n blood?

God bless my fatherland. Occupy Naija!!
kay9 signing out.

Thursday, 22 December 2011

NEFT Transfer (II)

Mostly in response to Kiah's request. Its 5months behind schedule o, but hey, nothing's been on schedule for me lately. :)


Recap: It was 3:25pm; banks close to customers by 3:45pm, and Stephen dem needed to withdraw the chips before COB.
Status: the bank lady (same one that adviced the NEFT crap) just confirmed that the money still hadn't left my account. But why na? Eeh, she doesn't know, maybe cos, umm maybe...

Bloody baka-yarou!

My brain goes into overdrive.

I run upstairs, grab my colleague's car keys (the dude was in the warehouse fooling around with 4-1/2'' IF crossovers), and run for the car park outside. Simultaneously, i call my account officer at the bank (who thankfully also doubles as our company's liaison bank personnel) and beg her to make available so-so amount for me, abeggggg, say person need am sharperly. She say no shaking, mak i dey come. Check.

I slow down long enough outside to type a text to my mum - ''Text me Stephen's account number''. Send. Dash into the car - thank God na auto transmission - back out n race towards bank. Simultaneously calling collegue and begging to use his car abeggggg (bros no knw say i don tak off with car already o, lol). I don reach bank sef when he finally says ok. Check.

Time - 3:32pm.

I race into bank, straight to account officer's office (she get small levels for the bank shaa); money's ready already, i should just fill out the teller, she'll handle the rest. I short-hand through the teller, thank her profusely, grab the cheddah and race out again. My phone beeps as i'm re-entering the car - Stephen's bank details, diamond bank. Mmm.

On a side note, thank God i decided to take those driving lessons during my leave in May/June; seriously, Agent 007 had nothing on me that afternoon.

3:47pm; i'm in front of Diamond bank. I race inside; security flexes its muscle and i flash my 6,000 watts smile - bros, how far na? Abeggg, abeggg... Lol. Door opens and i'm inside. Check.


Finally sometime around 4:10pm, i call mumsie, ''Tell Stephen dem to go withdraw their money.''

Mission Accomplished... mehn, am i good or what??

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Hello Blogsville... Hello Seattle

Yeah... Its me all right, thought its about time i dropped by.

Ok, so this morning while i was cleaning stuff up, my laptop cued in Owl City's "Hello Seattle"; i ended up replaying the track like four times, but by the fifth iteration i still had no idea what the song was talking about. So...

So i checked up good ol' Google. The results i got ranged from insightful to silly, to downright hilarious. One poster at some random lyrics site like that really cracked me up... :D

@NuttyJ, hope u doing ok gurl.

Friday, 29 July 2011

NEFT Transfer (I)

Just had to blog about this; it actually happened yesterday.

So there i was thinking whadahell, i'll bleeping smile and laugh all i want, my brokeass-ness and perennial troubles can go take a dive in the lagoon for all i care. Easier said than done, mind u, but i managed to pull it off sha. Naim i come say mak i call mumsie and confirm say the bulk of my salary (and i mean BULK!) wey i send mak she take settle issues don reach her hand.

It was a bad idea.

"Mumsie how far? U don withdraw am?"
"No-o, i am still waiting for the bank SMS alert. And your dad has..."
(**i interrupt**) "You haven't gotten it??!! But i sent it since tuesday!"
(**oblivious to the interruption**) "...has been calling all day, saying Stephen dem hav been asking..."
(i interrupt again) "But mummy have you checked? Are you in the bank?"
(**oblivious once again) "... asking and demanding for the thing. I don't just know, this NEFT transfer thing sef..."
(**now getting angry**) "Mummy have you checked?!"
(**thankfully it sank in**) "No, no... I'm guessing it will probably finally enter tomorrow, so i called Stephen's wife and Ubana dem, and told them to be a little more patient..."
(**royally pissed now but trying to keep voice down**) "But mummy now!! Why didn't you call me? Its past three now, and they've been waiting since tuesday... Ohh-hm!! Mtcheeww!!"
(getting upset too) "kay9, its this NEFT transfer thing, i wish you'd just sent cash..."
"Ok mummy, i'll call you back, let me call the bank."

I ring off and furiously scroll through my e63 nokia for my account officer's number... i was really fuming and muttering and foaming in the mouth now... On top say i'm basically broke cos i sent all my dough home, naim person come dey use my money play!! Chai, i swear, walahi, somebodi will catch fire today...!!!


Ok, lets rewind a little. See, the gist is that you can now send and receive money online from any bank in Nigeria... in principle, at least. There's this ish called NEFT transfer that basically runs the joint; to use it u need to know the destination bank's name, branch, SORT code, and the receiver's new NUBAN account number (every account in Nigeria has that now). And by the way, i'm pretty sure "NEFT" and "SORT" and "NUBAN" all mean something sensible, even if i don't remember being told what they are.

Ok o, na so i go bank to withdraw cash jejely, only for the service personnel to start yiddy-yakking about NEFT. Yes, i'd heard of it, but i thought only GTBank currently uses it? No, she says, all smiles and dimples, all banks use it now. Just fill here, here, and here, and u'r good to go. Okay o. Na so i call mumsie and she send the details sharpish; there and then i filled out the NEFT form and had it posted. Goodbye, july salary. This was tuesday morning.

Fast forward to 3:05pm, thursday afternoon... (chuckling) well, u know the rest... there i was thinking whadahell, i'll bleeping smile and laugh all i want... Ring-ring!..."Ok mummy, i'll call you back, let me call the bank."...

Walahi, sombodi go catch fire today!!!


That was all yesterday, i'll tell the rest tomorrow (it actually ended wonderfully).

@NuttyJ, kiah, Rep1, rethots, and Mancee, thanks a lot guys; i really appreciate your kind words - and i'm smiling now!

Monday, 25 July 2011


I have this thing i tell myself when things get really tough for me: Nobody promised you that life would be easy, so suck it up and stop complaining. But sometimes, sometimes i just wish...

I'm very unhappy right now.

Hello Nutty J, welcome back, missed ya. Hope the experience wasn't so bad, dear; glad u better now. I did hit the reply button on your blog, but self-pity kept swallowing what i wantd to say.

Ada bekee, i saw your post, but... my dear, i can't seem to work up any excitement.