Wednesday 8 September 2010

I'm Drooling All Over This...

Hey guys.

Don't worry about the title, i'll tell y'all what i'm drooling over later, make i just first mis-yarn small. And while we're at it, may i categorically say it now that this post is probably not gonna make much sense. As in, it doesn't have any thread whatsoever about it. So if you are tempted to break your laptop and strangle Blogger to death after reading it, well, umm, just go ahead.
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It's been a while since i posted last. I dont know why. And i'm too tired to bother. Maybe i'm losing my mojo.
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I'm going to buy a car before this year is out. I'm tired of begging people for rides - tired of having to wait for the rain to abate a little so i can go out and look for a cab (yes, abate a little because i have SWORN never to own an umbrella!) - tired of waiting for hours at the roadside waiting for a cab - tired of getting tired of waiting for a cab and walking off in frustration only to have the said cabs drive by and splash muddy water on me. I'm tired! But na tokumbo i go buy o, i never get 2.5m to invest in "tear-rubber" now, abeg.
Oh, and by the way, i'm still learning to drive. Yes, yes, i know it sucks major, almost as bad as* never having had an orgasm and having painful hemorrhoids. But its my dad's fault, really. See, we only ever had one car - a 1983 505 Peugout, the love of my dad's life. And he swore never to let any other person drive it (besides my mum, of course). How me and #2 pleaded and begged, Daddy, please now, only us can't drive yet in this street, all our friends can drive and they're laughing at us... For where, whosai! My dad said when i grow up, i should buy my own car and learn with it. So here i am, 26 years old, and still yet to take off the L-plates - i never even put the yeye plate sef, talk more of removing it. Mssheew.
The old dude still drives the darned 505, by the way, the Shylock! (I lurv my daddy o, lol!!)

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I'm sitting the office right now, waiting for a babe who's visiting me from Lagos to arrive (the weekend is starting tomorrow, thursday n friday are public holidays). She's coming by road. I'm still waiting... and dreaming of all the beer i'd have drank by now.

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People, guess what? Satzenbrau is back in town!! Oh yes, the good old Skirt and Blouse - or as my Onitsha bros dem dey called it in the days, "Saacham-Brain" ("Wash-my-Brain"). And guess what else? IT COST ONLY 100 BUCKS!!! (about 67 cents). Mehn, me and my guys have been drinking like crazy!!! Shoo, no be small tin o. I don't know how much a bottle of lager beer costs in America or Europe, but here in Naija the average is N200 (we call it "Pump Price"); Gulder, Star, Heineken, etc; same for Guinness stout and medium. Guinness Extra Smooth and Guinness large are N350. Now, with all these in mind, imagine getting a bottle of beer for half the normal pump price! And as if the price wasn't incentive enough, the beer itself is the SMOOTHEST i've ever tasted, honestly. I tell my friends, this beer is fine, divine, and simply sublime!! Hahahaa, just like kissing a girl, babe!
It was so funny yesterday. Usually, on a good friday night, we blow like 5k on beer alone; other nights, like mid-week wednesday (we call it "Mid-week Service"), we do like 2k or 3k. So yesterday, after we'd done like 3 bottles apiece - that's usually our ceiling on a Mid-week Service - we looked around, counted the bottles and did the arithmetic. It came up to approximately one thousand bucks... ONLY ONE THOUSAND NAIRA??!! Are u freaking kidding me?! Mehn, we just yelled for joy and screamed at the bar girl to bring more! LWKMD!!

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Ah-haa, i almost forgot. About this title sef, thing is i couldn't think of anything to call this post, so i just typed in the last comment i'd made on Isha's blog. Cool, huh?  Here's what i was drooling about; read it and see if you don't drool, too.

(* edited)