Wednesday, 26 August 2009

August Visitor

I want to officially send out a big thank-you kiss to all the fine naija-ninjas who've joined my followers' club over the last four months. Yes, my followes' club - that little black corner wiv pitchers innit, just a little lower down and to the right. Honestly, you guys are a real boost to my already over-blown ego (lol!) and i really really appreciate it.

Ok umm, see eh, actually the kiss is only for the ladies o.... Danny, Scribbles, Jo Philip, Noty, and Sugar-K, abeg make una come this side collect hand-shake, no vex abeg... "Yo, wats'up my dawg... (does complicated hand-shake), thanks for hanging out wiv me, man, you're my homie f'life, f'real!!"

That's done! Oya, all the sexy, sexy mamasitas wey dey my convoy - fabulola, Elusive-B, adaeze, naija shawty, Ms. Dufalicious (mehn, dont you just lurrvvv that name!) and chayoma - here's to y'all: MMMWWWAAAAAAAAHH!!!!

Mmmm.... that was one wet kiss. Sigh. Don't you just love kissing the ladies?

Alright, to the business of the day.

I've got a little problem. I'm gonna have an august visitor by weekend and my brother is still around. See, i live in a self-contained room - one big room, one short corridor, a kitchen at the end of it, and a bathroom-cum-toilet attached - the place is really tight and i like to pretend it's actually a "self-contained apartment", but wth am i fooling? Ok, then two weeks ago, my brother (a year younger than i am) came around; he just finished from university, and he's gonna be around for a looooooonnng time. I mean, the guy na correct nwa-guy, i dig his ish, he digs mine, its really fun having him around - plus he cooks!! (Aha, i know Blogville babes will start ask me for his phone #... hehehe)

Now, the wahala there be say my sweet-heart from way back in school, Z, is coming to spend the weekend with me - with my brother in the same room!! Now, i know this gurl; she's like the "straightest" chic i've ever met. This is something she's NEVER done with ANY guy, visiting for the weekend, i mean. Yeah, i can see NBB already smirking at the corner, but hey trust me, i know this gurl, she's THIS uptight. Plus it was her that called and told me she wants to come over. Mehn, i couldn't believe it. I've been waiting to hear her say that for years - i'm not kiding - years!! Of course, in the mean time i just dey collect away matches... bodi no be fire-wood naw.

I played it cool shaa, asked her to repeat what she’d just said… she giggled and repeated that she was thinking of coming down to my place for the wkend. Her voice had a quiver when she said it again, i could almost feel the nervousness tingling down her spine. And i really really REALLY lov..., no, love is too strong; I really REALLY like Z. Sometimes, i think its gonna be her that I will.... mmmmh!

Mehn, I don think am go forward, think am go backward; walahi, bros will have to go on exile o! Its just that he doesn’t have any real friend in P.H yet, and I know he’s not gonna like crashing in my friends’ place. But kai, I can’t have bros sleeping in with me and Z, no way! Abeg blogsville, any ideas?? Bcos me i wan shine the congo this weekend o!

UPDATE: My people, see me as i take miss out one correct mamasita for my chikito convoy: Miss Fab!! Chai, nne oya na you go get the longest and juiciest of... nay, the gentlest and loveliest of all kisses: Mmwwwaaaah!!!

Friday, 21 August 2009

10 Words of Wisdom - Waffi Brand

I got me a collection of Waffi proverbs i culled from NL; thought y'all might enjoy them. BTW, if you are naija-born and you no sabi wetin "waffi" mean, then je-je click Reload. You can continue your journey of discovery from there. :D


WORDS OF OUR POPSI - Waffi-Saffi Remix

1. Escort me, Escort me, naim slave trade take start.

2. He who laughs last.... na serious mumu. Na now he know wetin dey happen??

3. All work and no play, na banker be that!

4. Birds of the same feather, na the same mama born dem.

5. He who lives in a glass house, na him pepe rest!! :D

6. Na determination dey make okada-rider overtake trailer.

7. Like play like play, naim Ngozi take carry belle.

8. Rat wey dey pass snake-hole take reach him house, no be small work im do.

9. When monkey wear canvas enter town, una go know say im get plan.

10. Mosquito wey perch for brokos, na small-small dem dey carry kill am.

And lastly, my personal favorite: Over-skill na im dey kill Ninja! (lol, Chayoma take note!!)

Friday, 14 August 2009

The Asshole and The Mopol

Can't believe the month is almost half gone.... ah well, blame it on the ahh-ah-ah-ahh-aah-asshole of a job i'm employed at. All around, folks are "Tweeting" and "Facebooking", i'm wondering when the world left me behind. Sure i have a FB account but that was cos ALL my friends are on FB, nwa-guy was beginning to look like an oddity. I guess sooner or later i'm gonna start tweeting as well - Naughty says i should look for him there... if only he knew!

By the way Naughty, thanks for the free Commercial Advertisement! If it didn't sound so gay i'd said i love you man, but it does sound gay, so... teeheeehehe, i don't bend in that direction!

Ok, now for what i came here to say - 2 things actually:

Number 1: My boss must be related to Ebenezer Schrooge, cos he's an ASS-HOLE!!! A very, VERY BIIGGG ASS-HOLLEEEE!!!! Mmmh, that should do. I'll tell y'all what he did sometime soon. Promise.

Number 2: Nigerian policemen are the worst (or very near the worst) in the world. See, its my personal view, ok, i aint gat no data to back all this ish up, but maka Chineke kere umu-Israel those guys are horrible! Especially the mobile policemen - better known as Mopol (or if you prefer, mmofo... and no its not a typo error, it is actually pronounced "Mmofo" - you kinda drag the M).

I know Mopols intimidating ordinary citizens is no news to any home-grown Nigerian, but it never ceases to bring out the barbarian in me whenever i see those bastards violating people's rights. The other day i was coming home from work and one crazy mmofo tried to flog the driver of the bus i was in cos he jumped lanes. Now, get it straight, i am NOT in support of drivers who break traffic rules, aight. But nothing, NOTHING at all gives the traffic warden or cop or mmofo or wharreva they call themselves these days, the right to flog another human being. Nofin!! Meehn, i was freaking pissed! I railed at the crazy Mopol, near got my ass into trouble in the process (lol!), but hey we didn't get this far by backing away from gun-toting maniacs, did we? Sugarbabe 2.0 knows what i mean; dictators remain dictators only because the people don't mind being dictated to. (And yes, that one isn't a typo either - Sugarbabe sounds a huge lot better than Sugarbelly, abi Nice nne don't you think so?).

On a nicer note, i'm going swimming tomorrow. The whole gaddamn day - fcuk the job, about time i gave Mr. Schrooge a piece of me mind anyway.


P.S: I no know say Mopol dey Wikipedia o. Shoo! Mmofo don enter computer, lol! Check for yourself.

Saturday, 1 August 2009

Spotlight: The Dark Knight

I re-watched my Dark-Knight dvd three days ago, and mehn i still dey gbadu that film. Such a far cry from "the-young-shall-grow" Spiderman (Spidy fans, una sorry o!) and play-boy Ironman; Christopher Nolan's Batman is the truest representation (as far as i'm concerned) of the modern hero we deserve, and the kind of world he'd find himself saving. Not some dashing knight in shining armor who swoops in and saves the day and everyone cheers and the bad guys hang their heads in shame, no. We all know it never happens like that - at least, not in this crazy world we live.

Now, apart from the super-hero angle of things, The Dark Knight also nudges me to think about the good/evil within all of us. I came across a fine blog on the movie today, and i was really struck by what it had to say. Like the Bible says "all have sinned and fallen short of God's glory, the movie highlights the fact that we all have the in-built capacity to be both angelically good and diabolically evil; the dividing line between the good guy and the bad is simply the choice each one makes. Thus, it is this inherent ability to do both good and evil that the character of the Joker (superbly played by Heath Ledger, R.I.P) capitalizes on, his aim being to prove that EVERYONE is as crazy and homicidal as he is, and would kill - just like him - if placed in the right spot. And that spot being a world completely without rules, hence his favorite question: Why so serious?? :D

My friends and i watched Dark Knight when it first premiered last year, and all i kept hearing from 'em was how terrific Heath Ledger was with his potrayal of the Joker. Granted, the Joker was really tight, but what struck me most was the Batman's ultimate sacrifice - accepting to take the blame for Harvey Dent's actions, so that the past good deeds of Gotham's "White Knight" would not be marred by the later murders committed by his grief-deranged mind. And so, Gotham's avenging angel became its most wanted fugitive, cos he took the fall for another man's actions..... dunnit make you wanna weep?!

On a side note, I actually debated whether to call this post "Why So Serious?"; that's how tight the Joker's lines are. But hey, it aint him the spotlight is on. So scratch that.

P.S: This is NOT a diss post! I love Spidy and i think Ironman is the best thing ever since the Incredible Hulk! Just so you know it, teehehehe.