Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Love Is Crazy

WARNING: If you don't have time for a long post, then don't even start reading. Cos this is LOOOOOOONNNNGGG!! :D

If someone had told me 6 months ago that i'd be posting somthing like this, i'd have asked the person whadahell he or she (she, more than likely) had been smoking. Well, the thing is, eh, i am in love. Jeez, this whole idea sucks... Anyhow i know say some peeps for blogsville don dey suspect me of being love-struck for some months now shaa. What? You want me to say it louder? Ok, fine:

I AM IN LOVE!!!!!!

(lol...)There, i said it, now SugarK and NBB can laugh me into stupor. Yes o, laugh if you want. As in, kay9 the playboy, fall in love ke? Na so i see am o; i don catch love-bug, since September last year sef (e don teeh, abi?). In fact, i no see road on christmas day, na so love just dey shack me ehh, left, right and center.... (lol!)

I guess the next question is Who be dis omoge wey dey make kay9 fall in love? Easy, shebi y'all remember Z? (I mentioned her first here) Well, na she o! Thing is, i remember exactly when i fell in love with Z - the exact moment in time when the inevitable happened, and i was captured. Ahh, that tori long o.

But no wahala, una go hear'am tire (and for those who've not heard me mention Z before); my next post is going to be titled: "All About Z", so keep a date. All of una wey dey like yummy, juicy love-tales, kay9 go give una the story of his love life... in the next episode. This episode, however, is about the crazy things - the THREE MAJOR CRAZY THINGS - that love has got me doing. All the play-boys out there catching them omoge-tails and "oyoyo-sawam", mak una come listen o, e go soon reach una.

1) NOW, WHENEVER I LOOK AT ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL BABE, I DEVELOP A GUILTY CONCIENCE. Ok, maybe "guilty concience" is stretching it, but honestly i can't "look" at any fine babe now without feeling like i'm doing something wrong. By "looking" i mean "appraising the goods", "doing a laser scan", you know... Well, i can't do that any more and - and it sucks! I ain't cheating or anything, am i? So why the guilt?? Damn.

2) I'VE STARTED TALKING LIKE A "LOVE-DOLL". You know all that lovey-dovey stuff they say in romance movies and M&B novels? Well, kay9 don become expert, "guru" in fact. Example: a typical phone conversation btw kay9 and Z about to end...

kay9: Sorry babe, i gotta go.

Z: Really? Mmmmmmmh.... (making funny displeased noises) Ahhhh, ok. Take care of yourself, miss u baby.

kay9: i miss U too. love u, sugar.

Z: love u too, honey-pie.

kay9: love u three, sugar-plum.

Z: (giggling) love u four, my sweet-potato.

kay9: (laughing) love u one million-gazillion, my minimini-wanawana

Z: aiit, kay, u win! (giggling and laughing her head off)... 
See what i mean??

3)I'VE STARTED GOING SOFT. The old me - jeez, i'm old already? - the old me never hesitates to say his mind; never afraid to get into a fight; never backs down in an argument... you know, the regular Jack-Toughman-type, plus i smoke and drink (and loving it, too!!).
Now, i get a pinch somewhere in my brain whenever my voice starts rising - only God in heaven knows where it comes from. I still don't back down like that shaa, but i know i ain't so brash anymore either. And the coup de grace: i've stopped smoking! Guess when i stopped? 31st night, December 2009. I don't know how it happened; all i know is i lighted this stick of B&H, and i just felt: Mehn, i don't think i wanna smoke this. Just like that. Of course, that's not to say i won't just start up again tomorrow... lol. The crazy part to all this is that this is EXACTLY what Z has been praying for since we got together - that i stop being so brash, that i stop drinking and smoking....

Now, now, see, i know this last part is more or less a good thing; i'm not so bent on being "the bad nyaga" that i don't recognize when something good is actually happening to me. Its just that i'm just thinking, if just being in love caused all this, what's gonna happen when i'm married??

Mmm, Chineke lekwa!

Monday, 11 January 2010

Under Construction

I wrote this poem two years ago towards the end of my NYSC program - i was worried sick about getting a job and striking out on my own... It felt like being kicked out the house, you know, and i was scared about what the future had for me. I'm pretty much ok now, of course, but my life-building is still way far from being completed.

I’m at work on my building
I’m at work on my life;
Tomorrow will be better, they say
But for now, its still night.
Working by candlelight on
The mistakes of yonder years
I clean up the angles of my ambition
And straighten my building-plan.

Talent ain’t enough
You need lots of luck
’Cos it’s hardest at the foundations
Setting rods of sweat and hardwork;
Mixing mortars of expense, and
Laying brick after painful brick
I work on past the lintels
Aiming for the lime lights.

Sometimes I want to
Hang my tools, follow the sway
Just curl up in bed, and
Cry the night away.
But I ain’t slacking, ain't slacking
Not till my life is roofed, and I
Pull up my poor, battered, jagged
Rugged construction post.

My life is under construction
Growing from a boy to a man
And the working team is made up
Of Me, Myself, and I.

Saturday, 9 January 2010

Test... and other ish

Okaaaaay! So i just wrote Total's scholarship test. Mmmmh! I don't know if i'll pass o, make una pray for me. The host said to check emails some 7-8 days from today; me i just wished they'll mark it already and let me off this stupid tension. This one don pass shaa; the next stage is an interview with Total executives and the reps from the instution for the program. We'll get there when we get there. Ahem!

But mehn, that test hard o, SHL stuff, VERY little time; then come see me writing at blitzering speed like the devil and all his children and great-grand children where right behind me, LOL.... O'boy, some pple really amused me at the centre. Like one guy who came with three pencils (we'd been instructed to come with pencils, erasers and calculators); the test host had to ask him if he was planning to open a super-market!

Well, in other news, i found this really funny spoof video by someone called Gbenga Salu. The video takes a comical look at the black-listing of good old Naija by the U.S. Enjoy and tell me what you think!

Hitler Defends Nigeria!!