Wednesday, 8 September 2010

I'm Drooling All Over This...

Hey guys.

Don't worry about the title, i'll tell y'all what i'm drooling over later, make i just first mis-yarn small. And while we're at it, may i categorically say it now that this post is probably not gonna make much sense. As in, it doesn't have any thread whatsoever about it. So if you are tempted to break your laptop and strangle Blogger to death after reading it, well, umm, just go ahead.
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It's been a while since i posted last. I dont know why. And i'm too tired to bother. Maybe i'm losing my mojo.
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I'm going to buy a car before this year is out. I'm tired of begging people for rides - tired of having to wait for the rain to abate a little so i can go out and look for a cab (yes, abate a little because i have SWORN never to own an umbrella!) - tired of waiting for hours at the roadside waiting for a cab - tired of getting tired of waiting for a cab and walking off in frustration only to have the said cabs drive by and splash muddy water on me. I'm tired! But na tokumbo i go buy o, i never get 2.5m to invest in "tear-rubber" now, abeg.
Oh, and by the way, i'm still learning to drive. Yes, yes, i know it sucks major, almost as bad as* never having had an orgasm and having painful hemorrhoids. But its my dad's fault, really. See, we only ever had one car - a 1983 505 Peugout, the love of my dad's life. And he swore never to let any other person drive it (besides my mum, of course). How me and #2 pleaded and begged, Daddy, please now, only us can't drive yet in this street, all our friends can drive and they're laughing at us... For where, whosai! My dad said when i grow up, i should buy my own car and learn with it. So here i am, 26 years old, and still yet to take off the L-plates - i never even put the yeye plate sef, talk more of removing it. Mssheew.
The old dude still drives the darned 505, by the way, the Shylock! (I lurv my daddy o, lol!!)

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I'm sitting the office right now, waiting for a babe who's visiting me from Lagos to arrive (the weekend is starting tomorrow, thursday n friday are public holidays). She's coming by road. I'm still waiting... and dreaming of all the beer i'd have drank by now.

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People, guess what? Satzenbrau is back in town!! Oh yes, the good old Skirt and Blouse - or as my Onitsha bros dem dey called it in the days, "Saacham-Brain" ("Wash-my-Brain"). And guess what else? IT COST ONLY 100 BUCKS!!! (about 67 cents). Mehn, me and my guys have been drinking like crazy!!! Shoo, no be small tin o. I don't know how much a bottle of lager beer costs in America or Europe, but here in Naija the average is N200 (we call it "Pump Price"); Gulder, Star, Heineken, etc; same for Guinness stout and medium. Guinness Extra Smooth and Guinness large are N350. Now, with all these in mind, imagine getting a bottle of beer for half the normal pump price! And as if the price wasn't incentive enough, the beer itself is the SMOOTHEST i've ever tasted, honestly. I tell my friends, this beer is fine, divine, and simply sublime!! Hahahaa, just like kissing a girl, babe!
It was so funny yesterday. Usually, on a good friday night, we blow like 5k on beer alone; other nights, like mid-week wednesday (we call it "Mid-week Service"), we do like 2k or 3k. So yesterday, after we'd done like 3 bottles apiece - that's usually our ceiling on a Mid-week Service - we looked around, counted the bottles and did the arithmetic. It came up to approximately one thousand bucks... ONLY ONE THOUSAND NAIRA??!! Are u freaking kidding me?! Mehn, we just yelled for joy and screamed at the bar girl to bring more! LWKMD!!

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Ah-haa, i almost forgot. About this title sef, thing is i couldn't think of anything to call this post, so i just typed in the last comment i'd made on Isha's blog. Cool, huh?  Here's what i was drooling about; read it and see if you don't drool, too.

(* edited)

17 comments:

Myne Whitman said...

I drooled on Isha's post too. As for this your own, it's so random. You won't believe I only got my car license last year, started learning in 2008 and I was older than you then. I can't blame my dad though, I was the scaredy cat..

Sumptuous said...

Hahahaha. Some similarities there. I'm 23, i dont drive coz i dont see d point wen i dont have a car jare. I also remember going to buy satzenbrau for my daddy wen i was younger. You and ur friends are 'el-cheapos' lol. I also hate umbrellas, would prefer to walk esp if it is just drizzling. Dont worry, u wey buy tokunbo go buy tear rubber. Sha try to touch base with blogger frequently.

Nutty J. said...

You re just into yeyerism right? Couldnt help lol-ing as I read ur post.

Hmmmm....I ditched my driving classes half way thru. Cant blame anyone for that, I just thought it worthwhile to make money on saturdays instead of learning how to drive on saturdays when I dont have a car yet. 7 classes to go though when I'm ready.

skirt and blouse is back? Cant say I missed it, 1759 (Guinness) remains the best beer my money can buy....

The day you buy your motor call on ur blogsville family make we wash am ooooo....eh en.

No be only you jare... I like the rain, and walk under it only when no family member is nearby to see me do so.

kay9 said...

@Myne: at least u b scared cat, me i was bursting with ZEAL - n he still refused!

@Sumptious: "el-cheapos"?! kid, come n back say that when u r my age!! lol... thanks for stopping by.

@NuttyJ: babe, i been there, done all that. 1759 is cool, granted, but it leaves this tang behind yo palette. SKB doesn't do that, its just... i dunno, El Perfecto! Lol.

kay9 said...

@Rep1: babe, what happned to yo 'comment' button??

dutch84 said...

I got my driver's license at 24. Here I thought I was some kind of freak for not getting it at 16 like my other siblings. Well, I heard of this one woman who didn't get her license until 60 so you're not that bad.

RepOne said...

u can't drive@ 26??? cheiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!! lol J/K oh...but uz a youngin sha :p

U know this can easily be misconstrued "Yes, yes, i know it sucks major, right up there with never having had an orgasm and having painful hemorrhoids." at first i was like huh Kay has never had an orgasm?? LOL!!

oh...My last post is comment restricted. twas just me thinking.

kay9 said...

@dutch: 60?? ahh, well, i guess there's still hope for me then!

@Rep1: Yes o, i no go lie!! My guys dem don laff me tire. Of course i can actually drive a car up and down a lonely (empty!) street, but the fact is i'm yet to do the fifth gear on an expressway and match the gas all the way down. And until i do that, i won't call myself a driver.
Abeg, about that line, i meant "its in the leagues of never having orgasm, etc." I didn't mean myself o, as in, i don come tire. (lol...). In fact, i better go do some editing.

this reply don long o.

isha said...

Lol. Thanks for the shout out. As wan kind as it was Lol. I saw the title of your post on my blog list and I was like 'Wait first'... Lol.

Omo see randomness. I started driving at like 20, and I absolutely love it. Just started driving for real (as per gear shift), last year sha. I think I'm sha going to own a, Auto transmission. Changing gear na wahala jare, especially with Lagos traffic. See the day my leg froze on the clutch. E no funny. Lol. But I feel you on the 'joys' of waiting for a cab... At least you have friends to call.

I'm still trying to understand the beer concept...

jobsfornaija said...

hey, av added u to ma blogroll!

btw i hate satz.

kay9 said...

@isha: lol @"wait first.." Around here, if u no sabi drive stick, u never start o. And to top it off, my friends who own auto cars won't lend to me until i can drive manual. Reason: make i no go bash am for road!

@JFN: danke! But why u hate satz naw?

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

am 25 and still does not have a drivers license. I am just lazy, have got a car I can drive oh, but the terms and condition of using the car is what is making me avoid it

kay9 said...

@TGwtRH: "terms and conditions", isn't that the small print at the bottom of the page that spoils all the fun? I TOTALLY understand.

TayneMent said...

Yay Satzenbrau! I see they made the bottle smaller. It used to be so massive.

Nice Anon said...

Tired of keke na pepe huh? I hear you!

Don't even know what that drink is.

Enyi emeru kwala nwantakiri ahu ahu with amu o! This one you are talking about drinking beer and waiting for her

kay9 said...

@Tay: yeah tis smaller now. Thing is, yestrdy we unanimously decided that the darn beer contains a lot less alcohol than is declared on its bottle label. Shame on Guinness Nigeria!
@ada-bekee: nti m anula ihe 2dy. Bia dis gurl, we go begin censor yo comments on Blogger o! Anyhw sha na only small bow-leg she carry go; usually i wheel 'em out on wheel-chairs.

LucidLilith said...

Em...abeg how do I get about snagging some satzenbrau????

Why not get an ademola adetokunbo? Me self..am looking to get a new ride but everytime i get to looking, my car - old faithful - starts to perform better. I think she knows the deal...

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