Friday, 29 July 2011

NEFT Transfer (I)

Just had to blog about this; it actually happened yesterday.

So there i was thinking whadahell, i'll bleeping smile and laugh all i want, my brokeass-ness and perennial troubles can go take a dive in the lagoon for all i care. Easier said than done, mind u, but i managed to pull it off sha. Naim i come say mak i call mumsie and confirm say the bulk of my salary (and i mean BULK!) wey i send mak she take settle issues don reach her hand.

It was a bad idea.

"Mumsie how far? U don withdraw am?"
"No-o, i am still waiting for the bank SMS alert. And your dad has..."
(**i interrupt**) "You haven't gotten it??!! But i sent it since tuesday!"
(**oblivious to the interruption**) "...has been calling all day, saying Stephen dem hav been asking..."
(i interrupt again) "But mummy have you checked? Are you in the bank?"
(**oblivious once again) "... asking and demanding for the thing. I don't just know, this NEFT transfer thing sef..."
(**now getting angry**) "Mummy have you checked?!"
(**thankfully it sank in**) "No, no... I'm guessing it will probably finally enter tomorrow, so i called Stephen's wife and Ubana dem, and told them to be a little more patient..."
(**royally pissed now but trying to keep voice down**) "But mummy now!! Why didn't you call me? Its past three now, and they've been waiting since tuesday... Ohh-hm!! Mtcheeww!!"
(getting upset too) "kay9, its this NEFT transfer thing, i wish you'd just sent cash..."
"Ok mummy, i'll call you back, let me call the bank."

I ring off and furiously scroll through my e63 nokia for my account officer's number... i was really fuming and muttering and foaming in the mouth now... On top say i'm basically broke cos i sent all my dough home, naim person come dey use my money play!! Chai, i swear, walahi, somebodi will catch fire today...!!!


Ok, lets rewind a little. See, the gist is that you can now send and receive money online from any bank in Nigeria... in principle, at least. There's this ish called NEFT transfer that basically runs the joint; to use it u need to know the destination bank's name, branch, SORT code, and the receiver's new NUBAN account number (every account in Nigeria has that now). And by the way, i'm pretty sure "NEFT" and "SORT" and "NUBAN" all mean something sensible, even if i don't remember being told what they are.

Ok o, na so i go bank to withdraw cash jejely, only for the service personnel to start yiddy-yakking about NEFT. Yes, i'd heard of it, but i thought only GTBank currently uses it? No, she says, all smiles and dimples, all banks use it now. Just fill here, here, and here, and u'r good to go. Okay o. Na so i call mumsie and she send the details sharpish; there and then i filled out the NEFT form and had it posted. Goodbye, july salary. This was tuesday morning.

Fast forward to 3:05pm, thursday afternoon... (chuckling) well, u know the rest... there i was thinking whadahell, i'll bleeping smile and laugh all i want... Ring-ring!..."Ok mummy, i'll call you back, let me call the bank."...

Walahi, sombodi go catch fire today!!!


That was all yesterday, i'll tell the rest tomorrow (it actually ended wonderfully).

@NuttyJ, kiah, Rep1, rethots, and Mancee, thanks a lot guys; i really appreciate your kind words - and i'm smiling now!


Ohj (TheRustGeek) said...

Ha.. Naija bank fit give persin high blod pressure unnecessarily..

How's Ed Noble these days abi which one wey you on again? :)

Kiah said...

@Ohj...i object to the blood pressure bit...Naija customer na dem fit give person high blood pressure

hmmm...i can imagine the end to this one...glad to know you are feeling better :)

Myne Whitman said...

Interesting news about the transfer, and nice to read from you again.

kay9 said...

@Ohj, haven't been on Noble rigs for ages now; used to b fun shaa.

@kiah, me i object to ur objection jare! :)

@myne, merci beau coup, madame.

Random One said...

Online banking in naija? *raises eyebrow* lol...make 419 no go gba ya money oh :p

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