Embarrassing Moments

Sometime early this year (i forget when, or maybe I just don’t want to remember), my company organized some sorta "Customer Satisfaction" training program; it was a 2-day thing. Fat waste of time, i can tell you. Plus, the lady doing the training thingy for us - i think her name was Bimbo, but let's call her " the Trainer", has a nice sarcastic edge to it, :D - its my view shaa, but i think she was just there forming "whitey" for us, lol. Ok, i think (honestly thinking, this time) she sincerely meant to impart some "customer-satisfying" knowledge to us, but at that moment we were being owed 2 months’ salary, and that kinda distorted our view of the whole thing. Unpaid salaries can do that, i assure you.

Alright, i digress. Here's the jist: On Day2 of the training, the trainer asked each of us to tell his/her most embarrassing moment. It was really hilarious. Mehn, I laff sotey i come get headache for jaw. See as everybody - from Trainee Yard-hand to DGM - just dey swap stories of dem take fu.ck up like say tomorrow no dey! Me sef, i talk my own join. I told of how my most embarrassing moment was in my J.S.S 1, first term of my first year in secondary school. I told of the day i came home looking like a pig.

It so happened that my secondary school - CKC, Onitsha - wears "white and white" (for those who don't know, that means white shirt upon white shorts (for juniors) or white trousers for seniors)). I was like 11 then, and i just loved to play - you name it: football, handball, chase, tag, tug-of-war, or just plain fooling around in the sand - kay9 will be there! My mum used to warn me then to watch how i play, that i was now in secondary school, that i now wear "white and white" and i can't afford to dirty it too much.... For where? Who-sai!! It all fell on deaf, playing ears. Then along comes the day that i played the Play to end all plays. I played and played and rolled all over the whole of CKC's football field. After a while i noticed that my white uniform was no longer white in color; in fact, it was totally brown. So i did the smartest thing that came to my head: Remove the shirt, turn it inside out, and put it back on - surely, the inside MUST still be white! And that's what i did. But then the playing field started to call me again, so i ran out to it and played some more - played a WHOLE LOT more. Maka chineke, my uniform hear'am that day.

And then at last, it was time to go home. My God, i looked worse than a pig! My uniform was dirty - stinking dirty! - both inside and out. Even my friends whom i'd been playing with were ashamed of me - and this is the part i never could understand - none of them looked half as dirty as i did! How manage?? Mehn, i don't know how come no teacher saw me like that, but I’m mighty glad none did – cos if they had, walahi, my otule for catch fire. The closing bell rang, and i skunked back home. I never played like that again, ever.

Oh well, that's what i told them at the training, and we all had a good laugh - laughed enough to keep High-Blood pressure away for at least another half-decade, i can tell'ya. But you know what? I bet every one of us there had "crazier" (is there such a word?) embarrassing moments than the ones we talked about. I know i do, lol! My oh my, this kay9 wey una dey see here done do some really really crazy tings o!!

(To be continued.)