All About Z (2)

Well, there really isn't much else to tell. Z and i are together now; she took me back into her arms that night - it was like we were two lovers who'd been separated for sooooo long - and i knew i'd been given a second chance that very few ever get. I won't claim to be a changed creature or anything - every now and then a pretty female wags her tail at me and i just gotta switch over to swagger mode - say Gawd-bwamb, sombori preeze! lol.... BUT one thing is distinctly clear to me now: Z is mine and i'm her's.

It hasn't been entirely rosy since then, though (real life has no happy endings, mate!), but Z and i are learning ourselves. I won't start yiddy-yakking about all that now but i can tell y'all one thing i've started cultivating: Patience. God knows i need it. Hmm.

We spent last xmas together in P.H; we watched Avatar together at Silverbird cinemas -- it was beautiful... and i was happy. Z loves me to smithereens and mehhn, it never ceases to amaze me how one can love another like that.

Z, if you ever get around to read this:
 kay9 loves you soooooooooooooooo much - say thankya! :D

All About Z

Z is my girlfriend, and i love her. But i love her in my own special way, and she loves me in her own way too. Sometimes i think its fate, i dunno, you can tell me what you think. But please don't judge me too harshly when you read this; i am who i am, and i ain't about to change that.

I met Z in my final year; she was in her second year then. I'd gone to visit a friend (a girl); the babe wasn't around, so i ended up with the roommate - Z. We got talking about this and that, yaddy-yaddy-yak, and that was it. I visited again a couple more times and then invited her to my place - my "crib", as i used to call it. She said she wasn't promising anything, i'd kinda figured out she wasn't the visiting type by then; I said i wasn't the normal type of guy either, and that meant she was gonna visit me whether she wanted or not. She laughed it off and i left it at that. I can't remember how many days later when Z showed up at my door; i was kinda stunned cos i didn't think she was gonna be that easy to lure to my "slaughter house" (say thankya, lol). I think i prepared indomie for her, we talked some more while i mentally plan my attack formation. Styl+ was playing on my Aiwa deck when i stood up and asked her to dance with me. She suddenly went shy, said she doesn't dance. I pulled her to her feet all the same and we began the slow-rock. I still remember that moment like it was yesterday: Styl+'s Run Away had just cued in when i untangled my right hand from her left, tipped her chin up to meet my eyes, and then i kissed her on the lips. It was hot, soft and tender. Z flushed like crazy, her face was so hot i thought it would burst into flames; i couldn't resist laughing, and of course she flushed even more, hiding her face in my chest. Something told me right there and then that this girl has got it bad for me.

But that wasn't the moment i fell in love with Z.

Nothing much else happened that day; Z was just a year younger than i was, but i was way more experienced and it didn't feel right exploiting that advantage. We got off to a shaky start. You know that phrase, "fall hopelessly in love"? I think that's what happened to Z; unfortunately, i was just in for the fun. I didn't hide the fact that there were one or two other girls, and Z acted like she didn't really mind, but i'm sure she was just pretending. And then something crazy happened: I started loving Z back. I couldn't get her out of my thoughts - half way through lecture, i'd get this flash of her in my head, zam! i'd forget everything the lecturer was saying, just sitting there smiling like an idiot. It was weird. We had some really lovely memorable times together...

And then i finished school.

Z was a tough girl, still is too, but the pain of losing me was too heavy for her. The day i told her we had to let it go, that it was good while it lasted but this is it, all that stupid "it's not you, it's me" shit, well, Z went to pieces. But God, she covered well! She cried a little - i think she'd seen it coming a mile away - tried telling we could still be together even if we were physically apart... But i wanted to fly, fly, fly away! I didn't want any emotional attachment whatsoever - say thankya and much obliged! - just to feel my freestyle, baby!

So i said no. Z begged me to stay with her, and i said no.

Later, Z called me, said it was ok, that she understands and that we can still be friends. I tried kick against this new "friendship" thing but my guilt got the better of me, so it just sort of limped along. After a while it was me doing the calling; i even visited a coupla times, but it always left me with a 3-days hangover. Then Z started acting cold and distant; took me a while to catch up with this new and improved Z. I think this was the period she tried to purge herself of me; she doesn't like to talk about it now. Meanwhile, i was begining to feel the growing hole in my heart...

Ok, fast-forward to 3 years later, late July last year to be exact. I'm now working with an energy-servicing company, Z's in her final year; we're still more or less friends, but we've learnt our boundaries; she sometimes tells me her worries, i sometimes tell her mine; we kid and we joke, and then we pretend we just didn't - say thankya and Jah bless, but nwanne whatafuckedup arrangement it was! And then along comes the day when my depression hits a whole new all-time low. I've always prided myself on being able to live and survive alone, you know, the whole Lone Ranger thing - but meehn, this time i just knew i NEEDED company - real, caring company - someone who actually wanted me around. And i was stuck - my two real friends, Kachez and Obiora, were now working in Lasgidi and Ibadan respectively; my "homies" back here in P.H were just that - homies, "hanging-out" buddies in simple English. And i DID NOT WANT TO GO HOME - never will it be said that kay9 went home crying to mummy.

So i went to the only place i could think off: to Z.

I called Z and told her i was coming to her place in Owerri; she thought for a while and said ok. I told her i was really feeling "unhappy" and that the real reason i was coming was cos i needed company... that i might stay over; she thought for a while again and said ok. I sighed with relief; i was already on the bus at that time. I came, she welcomed me, gave me a hug. We sat, talked about this and that, i cracked a couple of lame jokes, she asked what was getting me bad, i told her, then we talked some more... and went to bed. I felt better that night, but i couldn't shake a dull sadness in my soul - here was someone i'd ditched comforting me - it was enough to make all the angels in heaven weep! I wasn't expecting any physical intimacy that night - trust me, the Horny Hormone has a fine respect for ex-gf's - and knowing Z the way i know her, i didn't need ghosts to tell me that no monkey business'd be entertained that night. Some time around 1am, mosquitoes started biting me. I tried to ignore the bites, but i couldn't keep from scratching. And it was hot -  PHCN had done their again. Z noticed my discomfort and started fanning me a plastic hand-fan. Then she asked if i'd rather stay outside for a while, that it was cool there - "outside" was the short passage in front of her room. I thought about it and said yes, let's go outside ( if i went out she'd come with me, see :)

And thats how it happened: Z on the waist-high passage barricade; me on a chair facing her, my head and arms resting on her thighs, her arms round my neck. I can't remember who touched who first, but i know it was i who spoke first:

"Z, i'm sorry..."

That was the moment.

Love Is Crazy

WARNING: If you don't have time for a long post, then don't even start reading. Cos this is LOOOOOOONNNNGGG!! :D

...........................................

If someone had told me 6 months ago that i'd be posting somthing like this, i'd have asked the person whadahell he or she (she, more than likely) had been smoking. Well, the thing is, eh, i am in love. Jeez, this whole idea sucks... Anyhow i know say some peeps for blogsville don dey suspect me of being love-struck for some months now shaa. What? You want me to say it louder? Ok, fine:

I AM IN LOVE!!!!!!

(lol...)There, i said it, now SugarK and NBB can laugh me into stupor. Yes o, laugh if you want. As in, kay9 the playboy, fall in love ke? Na so i see am o; i don catch love-bug, since September last year sef (e don teeh, abi?). In fact, i no see road on christmas day, na so love just dey shack me ehh, left, right and center.... (lol!)

I guess the next question is Who be dis omoge wey dey make kay9 fall in love? Easy, shebi y'all remember Z? (I mentioned her first here) Well, na she o! Thing is, i remember exactly when i fell in love with Z - the exact moment in time when the inevitable happened, and i was captured. Ahh, that tori long o.

But no wahala, una go hear'am tire (and for those who've not heard me mention Z before); my next post is going to be titled: "All About Z", so keep a date. All of una wey dey like yummy, juicy love-tales, kay9 go give una the story of his love life... in the next episode. This episode, however, is about the crazy things - the THREE MAJOR CRAZY THINGS - that love has got me doing. All the play-boys out there catching them omoge-tails and "oyoyo-sawam", mak una come listen o, e go soon reach una.

1) NOW, WHENEVER I LOOK AT ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL BABE, I DEVELOP A GUILTY CONCIENCE. Ok, maybe "guilty concience" is stretching it, but honestly i can't "look" at any fine babe now without feeling like i'm doing something wrong. By "looking" i mean "appraising the goods", "doing a laser scan", you know... Well, i can't do that any more and - and it sucks! I ain't cheating or anything, am i? So why the guilt?? Damn.

2) I'VE STARTED TALKING LIKE A "LOVE-DOLL". You know all that lovey-dovey stuff they say in romance movies and M&B novels? Well, kay9 don become expert, "guru" in fact. Example: a typical phone conversation btw kay9 and Z about to end...

kay9: Sorry babe, i gotta go.

Z: Really? Mmmmmmmh.... (making funny displeased noises) Ahhhh, ok. Take care of yourself, miss u baby.

kay9: i miss U too. love u, sugar.

Z: love u too, honey-pie.

kay9: love u three, sugar-plum.

Z: (giggling) love u four, my sweet-potato.

kay9: (laughing) love u one million-gazillion, my minimini-wanawana

Z: aiit, kay, u win! (giggling and laughing her head off)... 
See what i mean??

3)I'VE STARTED GOING SOFT. The old me - jeez, i'm old already? - the old me never hesitates to say his mind; never afraid to get into a fight; never backs down in an argument... you know, the regular Jack-Toughman-type, plus i smoke and drink (and loving it, too!!).
Now, i get a pinch somewhere in my brain whenever my voice starts rising - only God in heaven knows where it comes from. I still don't back down like that shaa, but i know i ain't so brash anymore either. And the coup de grace: i've stopped smoking! Guess when i stopped? 31st night, December 2009. I don't know how it happened; all i know is i lighted this stick of B&H, and i just felt: Mehn, i don't think i wanna smoke this. Just like that. Of course, that's not to say i won't just start up again tomorrow... lol. The crazy part to all this is that this is EXACTLY what Z has been praying for since we got together - that i stop being so brash, that i stop drinking and smoking....

Now, now, see, i know this last part is more or less a good thing; i'm not so bent on being "the bad nyaga" that i don't recognize when something good is actually happening to me. Its just that i'm just thinking, if just being in love caused all this, what's gonna happen when i'm married??

Mmm, Chineke lekwa!

Under Construction

I wrote this poem two years ago towards the end of my NYSC program - i was worried sick about getting a job and striking out on my own... It felt like being kicked out the house, you know, and i was scared about what the future had for me. I'm pretty much ok now, of course, but my life-building is still way far from being completed.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>











I’m at work on my building
I’m at work on my life;
Tomorrow will be better, they say
But for now, its still night.
Working by candlelight on
The mistakes of yonder years
I clean up the angles of my ambition
And straighten my building-plan.

Talent ain’t enough
You need lots of luck
’Cos it’s hardest at the foundations
Setting rods of sweat and hardwork;
Mixing mortars of expense, and
Laying brick after painful brick
I work on past the lintels
Aiming for the lime lights.

Sometimes I want to
Hang my tools, follow the sway
Just curl up in bed, and
Cry the night away.
But I ain’t slacking, ain't slacking
Not till my life is roofed, and I
Pull up my poor, battered, jagged
Rugged construction post.

’Cos
My life is under construction
Growing from a boy to a man
And the working team is made up
Of Me, Myself, and I.

Test... and other ish

Okaaaaay! So i just wrote Total's scholarship test. Mmmmh! I don't know if i'll pass o, make una pray for me. The host said to check emails some 7-8 days from today; me i just wished they'll mark it already and let me off this stupid tension. This one don pass shaa; the next stage is an interview with Total executives and the reps from the instution for the program. We'll get there when we get there. Ahem!

But mehn, that test hard o, SHL stuff, VERY little time; then come see me writing at blitzering speed like the devil and all his children and great-grand children where right behind me, LOL.... O'boy, some pple really amused me at the centre. Like one guy who came with three pencils (we'd been instructed to come with pencils, erasers and calculators); the test host had to ask him if he was planning to open a super-market!

Well, in other news, i found this really funny spoof video by someone called Gbenga Salu. The video takes a comical look at the black-listing of good old Naija by the U.S. Enjoy and tell me what you think!

Hitler Defends Nigeria!!

Peace and Love

I guess i've really done it this time - MIA for almost 2 months, that's gotta be record. But its the last freaking day of the year, so even such an extended AWOL like mine has got to have an end.

So i'm back...

But first, apologies:
I know it was really effed-up the way i just went missing - posting that Embarassing Moments story, and then puff! I'm sorry Blogsville, its just that my life took some crazy turns.

Here:
- my salary was delayed for 4months
- my rig allowance was delayed for 3months (since September!), so i was basically FLAT-ASS BROKE from October to mid-December (which is when it was finally paid)
- my Nokia 5200 phone (which doubles as my modem) suddenly developed problems 2weeks ago, and the PC suite no longer recognizes the phone.
- 8 days ago, Total Nigeria sent me an IV for a post-graduate scholarship test; i've been studyng like crazy ever since
- and the coup de grace, my laptop hard-drive crashed some 4 days ago. I've formatted the C-drive and re-installed my old programs and docs, so the laptop is pretty okay-dokay now.

So, here's to all of you who still checked me out even when i was as dormant as a hibernating mole: SugarK, MyneW, Fabulola, and Taatababe - THANK YOU!!
And especially to my own Ada-bekee: Nne, o teela, mana ugbua a lotala m.

Happy New Year everyone!

Embarrassing Moments

Sometime early this year (i forget when, or maybe I just don’t want to remember), my company organized some sorta "Customer Satisfaction" training program; it was a 2-day thing. Fat waste of time, i can tell you. Plus, the lady doing the training thingy for us - i think her name was Bimbo, but let's call her " the Trainer", has a nice sarcastic edge to it, :D - its my view shaa, but i think she was just there forming "whitey" for us, lol. Ok, i think (honestly thinking, this time) she sincerely meant to impart some "customer-satisfying" knowledge to us, but at that moment we were being owed 2 months’ salary, and that kinda distorted our view of the whole thing. Unpaid salaries can do that, i assure you.

Alright, i digress. Here's the jist: On Day2 of the training, the trainer asked each of us to tell his/her most embarrassing moment. It was really hilarious. Mehn, I laff sotey i come get headache for jaw. See as everybody - from Trainee Yard-hand to DGM - just dey swap stories of dem take fu.ck up like say tomorrow no dey! Me sef, i talk my own join. I told of how my most embarrassing moment was in my J.S.S 1, first term of my first year in secondary school. I told of the day i came home looking like a pig.

It so happened that my secondary school - CKC, Onitsha - wears "white and white" (for those who don't know, that means white shirt upon white shorts (for juniors) or white trousers for seniors)). I was like 11 then, and i just loved to play - you name it: football, handball, chase, tag, tug-of-war, or just plain fooling around in the sand - kay9 will be there! My mum used to warn me then to watch how i play, that i was now in secondary school, that i now wear "white and white" and i can't afford to dirty it too much.... For where? Who-sai!! It all fell on deaf, playing ears. Then along comes the day that i played the Play to end all plays. I played and played and rolled all over the whole of CKC's football field. After a while i noticed that my white uniform was no longer white in color; in fact, it was totally brown. So i did the smartest thing that came to my head: Remove the shirt, turn it inside out, and put it back on - surely, the inside MUST still be white! And that's what i did. But then the playing field started to call me again, so i ran out to it and played some more - played a WHOLE LOT more. Maka chineke, my uniform hear'am that day.

And then at last, it was time to go home. My God, i looked worse than a pig! My uniform was dirty - stinking dirty! - both inside and out. Even my friends whom i'd been playing with were ashamed of me - and this is the part i never could understand - none of them looked half as dirty as i did! How manage?? Mehn, i don't know how come no teacher saw me like that, but I’m mighty glad none did – cos if they had, walahi, my otule for catch fire. The closing bell rang, and i skunked back home. I never played like that again, ever.

Oh well, that's what i told them at the training, and we all had a good laugh - laughed enough to keep High-Blood pressure away for at least another half-decade, i can tell'ya. But you know what? I bet every one of us there had "crazier" (is there such a word?) embarrassing moments than the ones we talked about. I know i do, lol! My oh my, this kay9 wey una dey see here done do some really really crazy tings o!!

(To be continued.)