Friday, 14 August 2009

The Asshole and The Mopol

Can't believe the month is almost half gone.... ah well, blame it on the ahh-ah-ah-ahh-aah-asshole of a job i'm employed at. All around, folks are "Tweeting" and "Facebooking", i'm wondering when the world left me behind. Sure i have a FB account but that was cos ALL my friends are on FB, nwa-guy was beginning to look like an oddity. I guess sooner or later i'm gonna start tweeting as well - Naughty says i should look for him there... if only he knew!

By the way Naughty, thanks for the free Commercial Advertisement! If it didn't sound so gay i'd said i love you man, but it does sound gay, so... teeheeehehe, i don't bend in that direction!

Ok, now for what i came here to say - 2 things actually:

Number 1: My boss must be related to Ebenezer Schrooge, cos he's an ASS-HOLE!!! A very, VERY BIIGGG ASS-HOLLEEEE!!!! Mmmh, that should do. I'll tell y'all what he did sometime soon. Promise.

Number 2: Nigerian policemen are the worst (or very near the worst) in the world. See, its my personal view, ok, i aint gat no data to back all this ish up, but maka Chineke kere umu-Israel those guys are horrible! Especially the mobile policemen - better known as Mopol (or if you prefer, mmofo... and no its not a typo error, it is actually pronounced "Mmofo" - you kinda drag the M).

I know Mopols intimidating ordinary citizens is no news to any home-grown Nigerian, but it never ceases to bring out the barbarian in me whenever i see those bastards violating people's rights. The other day i was coming home from work and one crazy mmofo tried to flog the driver of the bus i was in cos he jumped lanes. Now, get it straight, i am NOT in support of drivers who break traffic rules, aight. But nothing, NOTHING at all gives the traffic warden or cop or mmofo or wharreva they call themselves these days, the right to flog another human being. Nofin!! Meehn, i was freaking pissed! I railed at the crazy Mopol, near got my ass into trouble in the process (lol!), but hey we didn't get this far by backing away from gun-toting maniacs, did we? Sugarbabe 2.0 knows what i mean; dictators remain dictators only because the people don't mind being dictated to. (And yes, that one isn't a typo either - Sugarbabe sounds a huge lot better than Sugarbelly, abi Nice nne don't you think so?).

On a nicer note, i'm going swimming tomorrow. The whole gaddamn day - fcuk the job, about time i gave Mr. Schrooge a piece of me mind anyway.


P.S: I no know say Mopol dey Wikipedia o. Shoo! Mmofo don enter computer, lol! Check for yourself.


Toni Tones said...


akaBagucci said...

LOL.. I agree mehn....Naija POlics have to be the crassest -- after the Russian Secret service..

miss.fab said...

You people and your Igbo can like to chill jare! The joke is not as funny if I don't understand it!!! :p

Lool the guy flogged someone?? Damn. That's kinda deep. Definitely a first. Lmao at the Wikipedia entry. Anybody can get on Wikipedia these days o... Shoot I'm 'bout to go create an entry for myself!

Nice Anon said...

lol nani chineke kere umu isreal. Nke kere umu juda kwanu? LOL biko hapum aka n'ehihi ocha n'abuo a oo!

Nigerian police sucks major ass. So crass and cunning.
Echekwaram na Sugarbabe sounds good kwa.. maybe a tad too babe 'ish? I don't know.

kay9 said...

@Toni: No laff too mush o, or i might start charging toll :D Thanx fer stopping by!

@Danny: Mehn no be small ting o. At least, the Russian fuz are commies, but how does a body explain naija's mmofo? Abeg, like ada bekee says, odikwa somehow o.

@miss.fab: You people and your Igbo... Hon its in the blood, cant be helped, lol!!
Maka Chineke kere umu-Israel = "by the God of the Israelites", but it sounds (and tastes) a lot better in Igbo!
Yes o, the mmofo flogged my poor driver; ish like that make me wanna skin some nyagas. Abeg halla me when your Wiki entry is ready!

@Nice: Ada bekee, u say mak i leave u? But i no hold you na, unless i choro ka m jide gi... lol!

Naughty Eyes said...

You? Love me? Woah! That's strong, child... Just too strong. LOL! Anyway, thanks for the free advert you've given me too.

Too busy to tweet? Glad you can still make out time to blog sha... Guess that job must be pissing you off big time but from the depths of my heart, I'd suggest you find a way to get along with a**hole boss. The no-job alternative is even worse than a bad boss.

As for the Naija police, what do we expect when the NPF not only recruits an insane man, but gives him a gun as a licence to mete out his own brand of personalized jungle justice?

SHE said...

No matter what you say, Kay, I sense a budding romance here...

And i agree, Please go easy on the Ibo. I may be forced to start blogging in Itsekiri Language...

Suru said...

Nigerian police sha pls be careful dealing with them. I like wiki it has all sorts of random info

QMoney said...

Hi kay,thanks so much for your poem,it was really nice

I hate policemen oh,as a matter of fact,i am scared of them....they can kill cos of N20...useless mofo!!!

kay9 said...

@Noty: Licence to kill indeed!

@SHE: By all means, please blog in Itsekiri!! Lol! Seriously though, u'll be surprised by the responses u get.

@Suru: the active word there is "random".

@Q: u welcomed, hon.

Sumptuous said...

First time here! I actually came to check out d guy who doesn't know Miley Cyrus.

Ms. 'dufa said...

First time! I like! LOL..The men in black are just freaking oppressors, not protectors (did i just rhyme?)...dont mind them joh..

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