Mid-Month Randoms

Its 1:25pm; i'm in the office and my boss just gave me a lecture on appreciating God in my life. I think he's full of shit. A week ago he gave our assistant unit manager a two-weeks suspension without pay because the man didn't pick his phone quickly enough - it was during the weekend, too. Of course everybody knows he just doesn't like the man, he's been beefing the man for like weeks now; the phone thing was just an excuse to swing around his weight. Blasted hypocrite, onye-oma Emeka.

I had a fight - and i mean a fight, like fisticuffs - with one of my friends last friday. Then we met up again at a bar and drank over it. But i'm still pissed off whenever i remember it. What happened was we were all sitting together in the office - me, him, and two other guys (lets call'em N, M, and O) - we are all real friends, plus we all work at the same place. Ok, so it was after work hours, and we are relaxing, waiting for N and O's babes to show up. Then its time to go, and N says he's looking for his dvd, says he believes i have it, and demands to search my laptop bag. I refuse. He insists and drags my bag; bag goes southways. He scatters my stuff and walks away. I'm stunned; i walk back to him and asks him wtf was that. He says its what it is, and wtf am i gonna do about it? I'm staring, like stupid stunned - and i didn't even have the frigging dvd. Then he delivers the bombshell: kay, u can't do shit about it. Says it repeatedly to my face.

Jesus wept.

Anyway, long story short, i go outside and wait for him. He comes out, and i give him a resounding right hook he's gonna remember for a long time. Oh, i forgot to mention, he's like two heads taller than i am, and almost twice as big. But you know the thing about righteous fury; it makes you invincible. It didn't last long tho, we got separated pretty quick. M was really angry with us both, said we were embarrassing him fighting like little secondary school boys. O says we are delaying his beer, and God help us if his babe gets tired of waiting and goes back home. N came over later at the bar, acting all nice, offering to light my cigarette each time i pulled one out. So everybody drank himself into a stupor and forgot everything.

But mehn, i still get angry remembering it; how can u eff-up so bad on somebody and still have the nerve to tell him something like that - YOU CAN'T DO SHIT ABOUT IT.

My coy is owing salaries again, and by God i need dough right now more than CBN.

I didn't go to the rig afterall; someone else was sent. Tough shit.

I Confess To Almighty God...

Hi Blogsville, guess what? Today is my birthday. I don't have anything cool or super-tight to blog about, just a simple post. A simple birthday post. A simple birthday post confession.

I've been partying since thursday; me and my friends now have permanent seat reservations at Daniel's (its a club in GRA, P.H). By saturday evening i was knocked-out, and then i made a sudden realization - its all been a fcuking waste of time. I went to church on sunday and felt better.

I know i should have said this a long time ago, but i just couldn't; i didn't know how to say it, i guess i was just ashamed of myself.

Z and i aren't together anymore - its been like three months now. And if you're wondering, yes, that's what i meant by Changing the Lock.

Ada-bekee and Rep1 are wondering if i'm crazy or something; my dearies, i'm not crazy, i'm just not the right guy for Z. I thought deep and hard and realized that the real reason i loved Z was because she loved me first, and loved me so hard; a one-sided love like that won't survive stormy weathers - and i didn't want to wait till the weather got stormy. I hurt Z too much, and she just kept coming back; it was wrong. It is wrong. So i made her break up with me. Gentle Z finally got furious with me, and left my world of hurt. It hurt her a lot more, but i like to tell myself i was saving her an even bigger heart-break. I hope she'll learn to forget me. And i hope she forgives me for not being man enough to say it to her face.

I know i'm sounding like a monster here - what with all my post on what makes or mares a relationship - maybe i am a monster.

NuttyJ, i'm sorry i couldn't learn from your example. Sometimes i wonder about it all, and i wonder if i've squandered my one chance at a happy lovley married life.

I got a lot of messages on FB and on my fone today. I also got one from Z, part of which reads: We meet to melt hearts & be felt; i'm glad i met u cos u melted my heart & i felt you in a way i wouldn't any other. happy birthday, baby! Z wishes u da best :-)

I'm going to the rig tomorrow. And i feel hollow.

I'd fcuked up once and she took me back. Now i've fcuked up again. Its only right that i should be man enough to live with my mistake... but then, was it really a mistake?

Shit.

Happy birthday to me.