Picks phone. "Hello?
“Hello, please call me back. Please, please, pleeeez!” Click!
Deep sigh. Girls! Punching numbers… Ring-!
“Hi! How’re you doing?”
“I’m ok, you?”
“I’m good, good, just… I was a little…”
“A little what? Ill?
“Yeah, I had a bit of fever. I was very down.”
“Ee-yah. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know…”
“Well, that’s cos you never call – you never call me unless I call you first.”
“But – but -”
“You boys are like that – you are all like that. (Whining now) You never call me, never…”
“But – but -”
“But what?”
“But I called you just yesterday!”
“Yes, you did – because I flashed you first!”
Chuckling. “Baby… baby, why are you on my case like this? Relax! Don’t you know that you are my one and only?”
“Mmmh? Really?”
“Of course! The mere thought of you makes my heart skip.”
Giggling girlishly. “It’s a lie. You are just saying all that to make me feel good…”
“No, I’m not – you know I’m not.”
Sigh. “Honey…”
Smiling. “Yes…”
“Umm, I need – I need a small favor from you.”
“Favor…”
“Yes dear. Please, it’s just a small something…”
“Something…”
“Umm yeah. I just – I just need a little money for my weekend shopping, something like fifteen thousand naira…”
“What??”
“Honey, I said I need fifteen thousand naira, you know, just for weekend stuff and…”
“Fifteen k? For shopping?”
“Yes now… Honey it’s not much, I know you can handle it.”
“Mmmh. Fifteen thousand. Fifteeeeeeeen thousand…”
“Yes. Please don’t say no…”
“Alright.”
“Oh thanks, dear! That’s why you are my honey-pie!”
“Umm, I’ll make a couple of calls, see how it goes. You’ll be free tomorrow, right?”
“Babe, I don’t know…”
“C’mon, give a home-boy some quality time, eh…” (makes silly funny noices)
Giggling again. “Oooo-kay, but honey, don’t disappoint me o. You still have my account number abi?”
“Of course. Hey, you can relax, you know I don’t eff-up. I’ll call you, ‘k?”
“Alright. Kiss-kiss!”
“Bye.”
***
Click!
Turns to roomie and grins triumphantly.
“You get am? ‘Im gree?” asks roomie.“Yes now! You no trust me? I scope am full time! (laughs heartily)
“Correct babe, abeg collect five jare!”“Cool fifteen k for account tomorrow, heeheehee! Mmmh, oya abeg find another mugu numba make we flash am…”
***
Click!
Turn to pal and grins from ear to ear. “O’boy see dis mumu girl, for her mind she don knack jack-pot!”
“Na dat Ekaete babe? Na she dey ask for fifteen k?”
“Yes o! (laughs)
“Shebi na you get CBN now!”“No be only CBN, even World Bank! Make she show tomorrow make I collect kpetus first; that fifteen k don enter serious voice mail…”
Now, who's really "scoping" who?