Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Scope 101

Ring-ring! Ring-ring!
Picks phone. "Hello?
“Hello, please call me back. Please, please, pleeeez!” Click!
Deep sigh. Girls! Punching numbers… Ring-!
“Hi! How’re you doing?”
“I’m ok, you?”
“I’m good, good, just… I was a little…”
“A little what? Ill?
“Yeah, I had a bit of fever. I was very down.”
“Ee-yah. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know…”
“Well, that’s cos you never call – you never call me unless I call you first.”
“But – but -”
“You boys are like that – you are all like that. (Whining now) You never call me, never…”
“But – but -”
“But what?”
“But I called you just yesterday!”
“Yes, you did – because I flashed you first!”
Chuckling. “Baby… baby, why are you on my case like this? Relax! Don’t you know that you are my one and only?”
“Mmmh? Really?”
“Of course! The mere thought of you makes my heart skip.”
Giggling girlishly. “It’s a lie. You are just saying all that to make me feel good…”
“No, I’m not – you know I’m not.”
Sigh. “Honey…”
Smiling. “Yes…”
“Umm, I need – I need a small favor from you.”
“Yes dear. Please, it’s just a small something…”
“Umm yeah. I just – I just need a little money for my weekend shopping, something like fifteen thousand naira…”
“Honey, I said I need fifteen thousand naira, you know, just for weekend stuff and…”
“Fifteen k? For shopping?”
“Yes now… Honey it’s not much, I know you can handle it.”
“Mmmh. Fifteen thousand. Fifteeeeeeeen thousand…”
“Yes. Please don’t say no…”
“Oh thanks, dear! That’s why you are my honey-pie!”
“Umm, I’ll make a couple of calls, see how it goes. You’ll be free tomorrow, right?”
“Babe, I don’t know…”
“C’mon, give a home-boy some quality time, eh…” (makes silly funny noices)
Giggling again. “Oooo-kay, but honey, don’t disappoint me o. You still have my account number abi?”
“Of course. Hey, you can relax, you know I don’t eff-up. I’ll call you, ‘k?”
“Alright. Kiss-kiss!”


Turns to roomie and grins triumphantly.
“You get am? ‘Im gree?” asks roomie.
“Yes now! You no trust me? I scope am full time! (laughs heartily)
“Correct babe, abeg collect five jare!”
“Cool fifteen k for account tomorrow, heeheehee! Mmmh, oya abeg find another mugu numba make we flash am…”


Turn to pal and grins from ear to ear. “O’boy see dis mumu girl, for her mind she don knack jack-pot!”
“Na dat Ekaete babe? Na she dey ask for fifteen k?”
“Yes o! (laughs)
“Shebi na you get CBN now!”
“No be only CBN, even World Bank! Make she show tomorrow make I collect kpetus first; that fifteen k don enter serious voice mail…”

Now, who's really "scoping" who?


Rene said...

rotflmao!!!! true u get her....u can decide to hold d 15k till u get something tomorrow.....mugu girl!

Nutty J. said...

If the girl is a sharp babe...she will make sure that, that 15k is in her account. If she doesnt get it...she should blank the guy for one serious week and when he calls on the seventh day she should say:

''...yes, how would I pick ur calls, if I cant get chicken change from you now then what wud happen when we start dating' (*hiss*)

Becos the guy is interested in 'kpekus' he will pay the money to her acc. then this is the time she goes visiting him in her short skirt clinging to her killer shape and showing off her long nice legs...she goes with a friend

If he questions this...she tells him in that silky smooth voice:

" Darling...its just me, i like connecting with my man mentally first before I get intimate..lets engage with our minds first before our heart...''

then she adds the song from sound of music: ''somebody kind who touches ur MIND wud suddenly touch yor HEART''

Now Kay9 who do u think is scoping who now...??? heheheh

Harry-Rami Itie said...


Sure boy!!!

Suru said...

Both of them are just wrong and I hope somehow they can both get played.

Myne Whitman said...

LWKMD, Mugu jam Maga! Let them knock each other out.

sosexy said...

The chic na ..She has more to offer than the guy.If she be fast babe,The guy must drop before any show.And when it comes to that,guys drop fast although they woon't tell their friends..
First time here.Funny post.Makes sense though.

kay9 said...

@Rene: think so? Maga babes can suprise u o, she might just pull off a 212!

@NuttyJ: LOL!!! U dey vex o! But d guy is sharp too, he might also hv a trick or two up his sleeves.

@Harry: Yes o, but if d babe takes NuttyJ's advice, home-boy cld hv a run 4 his money :)

@Suru: mugu don meet maga, like MyneW says!

@MyneW: Let 'em at each other, abi? Like WWE Royal Rumble, lol...

@sosexy: Glad u liked it; thanks for dropping in. There might be a part 2... :)

dutch84 said...

That's what's wrong with people. Everybody is out to get something from you...*smh* Anyway, did you come up with this yourself?

kay9 said...

@dutch84: Yup.

awittyfool said...

The battle of the sexes.... 9ja edition. wanna knw why we r still fighting this battle after a million years of co-existence? becasue there is never a clear winner. The guy gets Sex which he wants badly enough to pay for for (in cash or trade-by-bata) anyways and the babe gets her money... sure that makes her a cheap whore (15k niara? please!) but she gets her money. cunny man die, cunny man bury am.... as they say.

My world said...

really funny :-))

Nice Anon said...

This tori no really happen abi?

SHE said...

Is there a part two, I wonder?

kay9 said...

@awittyfool: Boys'n'girls, babe, what else do u expect from boys'n'girls? ;)

@myworld: glad u liked it.

@Ada bekee: Lol... of coursed it happened - but not to me, teeheee. Just a new "home-movie" i'm planning to release... :)

@SHE: Part 2? Err, not yet, but now u mentioned it, hmmm... Great to have u around, SHE.

@ALL: Abeg make una forgive me for taking so long to reply, i really appreciate all your comments!

Repressed One said...

LMAO@ sure as hell reads like one.

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